Enjoying Today

Transfer went well. 🙂

Now the way too long version. I’ve been scolded for my bladder not being full enough the past 2 transfers so I came up with an elaborate plan with the cut off time of my last urination at 9:30a and the amount of liquid to consume after being 40 oz. I even downed 72 Oz liquid over the 10 hours preceding the urination cessation. So genius. But then…

I got to the clinic about 40 minutes early and noticed things were going SLOW for everyone. Meanwhile I was about to pee on myself. I made it all the way to the time of my appointment before I asked the receptionist if they were running far enough behind that I should partially empty my bladder. She said they were far enough behind I should completely empty it then start drinking again. 😳 I still only partially emptied it then drank 40 more ounces of water. I was not getting scolded again.

At last, we finally went to the other part of the hospital for my appointment. Along the way my nurse explained that both other nurses were out today hence them being behind. I let her know once again my bladder was painfully full. We got all suited up in our transfer gowns. At this point my bladder was so full that I just wanted to get the whole thing over. I couldn’t even sit or lie down. Finally the embryologist came in and showed us a photo of 2 hatching blastocysts!! That was better than we could’ve ever imagined. I let my doctor know how full my bladder was and he said he’d check on ultrasound and if it was too full he’d have me half empty it. He checked and said it was perfect. That tortuous feeling is perfect?!? No wonder I get scolded. Then came the stirrups, speculum, catheter and ultrasound on my stomach. About ten minutes later I had 2 hatching blasts onboard and got to go pee. I pretty much ran from the room with my hospital gown flapping in the wind. Best feeling EVER.

That was on Tuesday and it’s now Saturday. Since then I’ve been so incredibly hopeful for these embryos. None of our blastocysts ever made it to the point of hatching so I’ve done a ton of research this week just to learn more about what the differences are. One of the first is that only 9% of blastocysts begin hatching on their own prior to transfer. Next, a hatching embryo only takes 1-2 days to implant instead of 3-4 as most frozen embryos do. The success rate for hatching blasts vs expanded blasts, (assuming neither are PGS tested), is exponentially higher. Approximately 80% vs 40%. I am trying to keep my hope in check. But I’m also kind of not trying. I mean, here’s the deal. I have been so logical and rational and realistic throughout this whole process but we actually have a real chance this time and I just want to enjoy daydreaming about it and feeling positive.

One weird thing about this process is how little we know about the embryos. So, they were donated through my clinic once a family was completed through the same cycle. All we know is at least 2 other embryos from the same cycle resulted in multiple live births. We do not know the ethnicity. We do not know how long they were frozen for. We don’t know how many living children there are that would be biologically related to our embryos. I was excited yesterday because the notes from my transfer would be accessible in the patient portal and I was hoping to learn more. Bare minimum, an embryo grade as they have always been in my transfer notes prior. Nope. No grade on the embryos. 😬 The only information shedding even the tiniest bit of light on our embryos back story is that the eggs that created our embryos came from an egg donor who was under 35. That’s it.

So that’s where we’re at for now. I’ve looked up due dates: 4/30 for a singleton and 4/09 for twins. I have found approximately 1 million cute baby outfits online. I’m trying to eat a healthy and well balanced diet. I’m taking it easy in terms of manual labor around the house. I’m relaxing and having fun and laughing in my free time. How I feel now doesn’t impact my chances of success but being committed to being positive and enjoying this process has majorly impacted my headspace. Who knows how I’ll feel if the result on beta day is a negative but I am just so glad I’ve gotten to experience the happiness of hope for once. 💚