Hey! Wait! I’ve got a new complaint.

I no longer have a Heart-Shaped Box. ❤ You totally need to watch a video of a hysteroscopic uterine septum resection on YouTube. It is the hysteroscope with a tiny little scissor-like cutting device on the end used to trim off about 75% of my septum. Because it was completed as a simple outpatient procedure, we were able to miss only one cycle then we’ll start IVF on the next one, (in about 2 weeks). While the uterine septum resection was generally unpleasant and I nearly passed out, at least it’s been fixed. One small TMI fact: due to my period then the resection then another period thanks to using birth control to suppress my ovaries for the surgery- I bled for over 3 weeks straight. Fun!! I do feel better knowing that should I ever get pregnant, I’ve drastically reduced the likelihood of miscarriage so that makes it worth it.

Now the AMH thing. That’s another story. It still has me really thrown. It sucks. There’s not really anything we can do for it. During my consultation appointment prior to the surgery we had a couple residents observing and Kap said that one of them looked horrified when my AMH was said. I need to figure out how to give that feedback. If we hadn’t already known how bad it is, that would’ve been incredibly upsetting. Hopefully she’s actually going to be a podiatrist and accidentally ended up in the wrong place that day. 😉 My doctor maintains that IVF is a great option for us and I’m just hoping he is right. I know I mentioned in my last post that I was trying a few supplements. Since then I’ve also added Omega 3. I had listened to a few podcasts and read a few articles that recommended DHEA for diminished ovarian reserve but when I called to ask my nurse she said not to take it unless my doctor recommends it. So for now it looks like I won’t be adding anymore supplements and just hoping the current regimen makes a difference.

Following my surgery I decided to try to have a little relaxation and fun I went on a very short trip to the Texas coast with my parents and Jen. The last time I was there Kaptain and I had been trying to conceive for 3 months and I remember being afraid to jog on the beach in case it harmed my possible embryo as I was in the 2 week wait between ovulation and taking a pregnancy test. Oh, how little I knew. Here I am almost a year and a half later and still very much not pregnant; even without the jogging. The family and I did have a nice time walking on the beach, visiting the aquarium and just generally relaxing. I think I needed a little break from all things conception. I didn’t even check my forums on reddit regarding baby making til I got back home. It was the time I needed to recharge my batteries and have that time with Jen, Mom and Dad since soon nearly everything will require Kap and I acting as a team and may not leave as much time for everyone else. Glad I went and glad to be back home.

Since returning I feel like I’m obsessively preparing for IVF. I watch a ridiculous amount of YouTube videos showing medication injections, egg retrievals, ICSI procedures, embryo attrition results, you name it. I constantly google statistics and check med prices on Good RX. I ordered checks for the first time in years so I’ll be able to pay at the clinic since I know my debit card will flag and decline a purchase in the thousands. I bought tiny Scooby Doo spot bandaids so I will be able to keep track for rotating injection sites. I reached out to the financial coordinator for my RE so she could have my insurance pre-approve the treatment plan and meds, (still waiting to hear back). As I’m doing all this, I just keep thinking I can’t imagine doing many, many cycles the way some couples do. I feel exhausted just going into this one. It’s weird. I am impatient to get it started but then scared and nervous, too. I’ve heard it will fly by once it actually starts but we shall see.

In the meantime Mother’s Day is this weekend. I know it’s a hard day for a lot of infertile people but it hasn’t really upset me as of yet. Whether it’s a biological child, an embryo donation or adopting an older child or teen I will be a mom to someone at some point. It’s just a matter of how it’s best for our family to come together. Looking forward to learning how that will be.

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